The Space Between

No this post isn't about Dave Matthews, sorry if that's what you were expecting. The "space between" that I'm talking about is the space between stimulus and response, and how you can use it in the best possible way. Let me explain...

Human beings have the unique ability to choose their response to any given stimulus,...but few people choose to actually use it. For most people, something happens either to them directly or through something in their environment and they immediately react to it in the way they have become accustomed to reacting to that type of stimulus. For instance, if a person is driving down a road and someone from the next lane over pulls in front of them quickly, close to their bumper, cutting them off...they immediately get really angry and flip them the bird, tailgate, honk their horn, or do something else that won't help the situation at all but will make them feel better because they did something about it even though what they did most likely didn't affect the other person in any significant way at all. But someone who is aware of the space between stimulus and response would behave differently. When someone cuts them off (the stimulus), they stop and think about how they want to react to the situation (their response). If they are in a good mood (which is also something you have control over...and I'll write about this in a future post), then they could try to find a good reason for the person cutting them off. Maybe they changed lanes so quickly because there was something in the road in their lane, or because someone who was in front of them stopped quickly, or they saw an animal on the side of the road that looked like it was about to dart into the road in their lane and they didn't want to hit it, or they needed to get into the turning lane quickly because they were about to miss their turn, or the person in front of them was going slowly and they were in a hurry because they just got a call that a loved one is in the emergency room. So then they could rationalize that one of those reasons is probably why the person cut them off rather than because they were just being rude, and wouldn't get mad about it but instead feel sorry for that person or nothing at all.

That was just one example, but there are countless more. You have always known that you can choose how you are going to respond to any stimulus that comes your way, but until now you may not have been consciously aware of it. So now that you are, pay attention, and use the space between stimulus and response to make decisions about how you are going to respond to a situation that will be beneficial for you and others rather than destructive. Don't let your environment and other people control how you act and react. Choose for yourself instead. If you do, it will be much easier for you to keep yourself on the road of success.