Life is Hard, But That's a Good Thing

Most people would agree that at one time or another (if not often), life can be difficult. The problem is that most of us think this is a bad thing. Well I'm here to tell you that it's not - it's actually a good thing. Check out my article in the link below to find out why.

Life is Hard, But That's a Good Thing

Take Time For Personal Reflection

*Sigh*… Time for personal reflection. That almost seems like crazy talk in these crazy times when there’s not even enough time to get through all of your emails or spend some time with your friends and family. And I’m standing here on my soap box telling you to take some time out for personal reflection? I know. Now you’re probably thinking “well how much time,…maybe I can squeeze it in between dinner and going to sleep.” I am suggesting at least 1 hour a week. If you can make it the same day and time every week, even better! I know you can find at least one full hour of time that you can take out of your undoubtedly extremely busy life to sit down alone, avoid any distractions, and reflect on your life. So do it!

What should you reflect on? Good question! Here is a bullet-point list of the things you should always ask yourself during your personal reflection time:

• Did I spend my time wisely over the last week?
• What did I enjoy doing most?
• What did I dislike doing most?
• How could I have spent my time better/more productively?
• Am I making progress toward my life’s goals?
• What can I do next week to make progress on at least one of my major goals?
• How are my most important relationships going?
• How can I make them stronger and better next week?
• What is the most important thing I need to get done next week and how can I get it done quickly and well?

These questions will help to orient you in determining how you are doing in your life according to your own standards. It will also help you determine what you need to do in order to get back on track if you’re off track, or give you a head start on the next week to keep you going full speed ahead if you’re on the right track.

Any time you have left, you can use however you want. Just sit and relax, meditate, pray, read something interesting, listen to some music, draw a picture, whatever you enjoy doing and is relaxing for you would be a good choice.

Take some time to relax and reflect on your life each and every week for at least one hour. It’s like pulling into a rest stop, checking the map, and catching a quick bite to eat and a nap before getting back on the road of success. Do it. Enjoy it!

Perspective

Keeping things in perspective, specifically looking at different perspectives of the same issue is something that is very important to remember to do, but unfortunately it doesn't happen naturally. You have to consciously remember to do it, and when you do you will have not only a happier life, but also a more successful one because you will understand situations and issues much better.

You need to keep things in perspective or else you will misinterpret the actions of others and situations you find yourself in as well. Everyone is different and consequently, they have different ways of looking at situations and at the world in general.  Even if that difference is only a slight one - it makes a difference in how that situation is interpreted. Take for instance the case where there are 4 different people standing on each corner of an intersection where there is a car accident that occurs while the people are watching. If you ask each of those people what happened, you will get 4 different versions of the same situation because each person was looking at it from a slightly different angle or perspective. So the best way to get the truth about what really happened would be to put all of the stories together (the common elements) and then add in the parts that were different but that make the most sense after hearing everyone's version. That will leave you with the most realistic version of the truth about what happened and the best explanation of what actually happened so you will understand what really happened, rather than just one version of what happened.

This same method of looking at things from different perspectives should be used in our daily lives as well in order to better understand what truly happens and more importantly, why people see things differently. Next time you are in a situation that could be looked at in a negative way, stop, try to think of a different perspective that you could interpret the situation through and do that. Then put the common, most likely elements together and add in the parts that are different which make the most sense, and I guarantee that you will understand the situation better and be able to respond more effectively.

As you can imagine, it is especially important to do when dealing with a situation between two or more people. Always try to look at the issue being discussed from the other persons' points of view so that you will not only better understand the issue, but also better understand each person. You will have less interpersonal conflict, the conflicts you do have will not escalate as much as they normally would, and you will be seen as a more intelligent, caring, fair, and understanding person - which will only help to speed up your journey down the road of success!

Communication

If you are going to make a difference in this world and get things done on a larger scale than if you just did everything yourself, you will have to get good at communicating with others. All types of communication are important too, not just being able to talk to another person. If you have good verbal communication skills, but poor written communication skills then you will be severely limited on the things you can get done and the people you can influence in today's world of email, books, blogs, text messages, and tweets. If you are good at written communication, but not very good at verbal communication, you will be able to write great emails and reports, but when it comes time for you to preseent those reports or describe to someone what you want done, it'll be more than a simple challenge, it will be much more difficult for you to get done what you want to accomplish

I said before that all types of communication are important, this also includes non-verbal communication (body language) as well as other aspects of verbal communication that aren't normally thought about by most people. The way you stand, sit, walk, and breathe; the way your facial expressions show what you are feeling as you talk, your hand movements, tone of voice, inflection, volume (loud or soft); the pace of your speech, and the words you use (conversational or professional, jargon, technical words, slang, profanity, etc.) all effect how a person perceives what you are trying to communicate to them.

You need to consciously pay attention to how well you communicate verbally and in written communication, and practice it in order to get better at it,...and getting better at it is something that is absolutely necessary if you are planning on living a successful life in which you will need to communicate with and influence many people.

Think about it. Say you want to build a house for instance. Let's just say you already know everything necessary in order to build a house from the concrete foundation, to the wood framing, electical and plumbing work, drywall and masonry, painting, carpeting, heating and ventilation, etc. If you want to build one, you will need to either build it yourself or communicate with others to have them help you build it or build the whole thing for you. If you have to rely only on yourself in order to build it, it'll take you a heck of a long time, and will be very difficult or even almost impossible when it comes time to do things that require more than one person working simultaneously to do. But if you can communicate to others what you want done and how it should be done, then you can build a house in probably a couple of weeks easily! In order to communicate effectively what you want done, you will need to convey to the contractors what you want them to do and how much they will be paid for their work. You need to make sure they know what needs to be done which means you will not only have to talk to them, but also provide written documentation, drawings, and schematics. You also need to be able to answer their questions when questions arise or when situations or cirumstances change. This requires both verbal and written communication, and the better you are at each one, the more efficiently, quickly, and cheaply the house can be built.

This applies to anything you want to do whether it's something as simple as asking someone to fax a letter or send an email for you, something as complicated as building a house, or something even more complicated like a business! Get good at it, it's important!

Courage

This journey of attaining success in our lives leads us down many detours, scenic routes, and tunnels as we travel down our road of success. When you get to one which you know will bring you to where you want to be, but aren't sure how it will get you there or what you'll encounter along the way, what do you do? Do you stay off the unbeaten path and keep to the boring paved roads? Do you take the new route but go super slow out of fear? Or do you press on, full speed ahead?

There will come times in your life when you will find yourself at a crossroads in your job, your relationship, your spiritual life, and in your friendships when you will need to make a decision on whether or not you will try something new that you have good reason to believe will work out for the best, or stick to what you've always done and play it safe but not have the result be as good. If you play it safe and do what you've always done, then you'll get what you've always gotten. But that's not what you really want is it? Of course not! If you are like me, then as good as things may be, while you enjoy and appreciate them very much, you know they can always be even better! This means you can't always do the same things - the safe things.

In order to keep improving you life, any aspect of your life, you need to take chances and do something different constantly (or at least on occasion)! The only way you can do this is if you develop a sense of courage.

"The greatest barrier to success is fear of failure."

-Sven Eriksson

"Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear."

-Mark Twain

So be courageous and do something different! Be afraid, it's okay to be afraid, but do it anyway! You'll be more successful, more quickly, and have more fun doing it!

Take Care of Your Relationships

Relationships are one of the most important aspects of your life and in determining whether or not you will be successful. These relationships are between you and your significant other, your co-workers, your friends, your neighbors, your colleagues (in your industry), and even with people you don't know but that know you. All of these people play a part in helping, or hurting your progress towards living the type of life you want to live. It's very important to make a good first impression on those who could influence your future, and to gain and maintain the respect of those whom you already know. By doing so these people will help, rather than hinder your progress towards becoming a success. 


The most important and influential relationship you will have is the one with your significant other. If they do not support you, your journey down the road of success will be filled with even more twists and turns and the speed limit will be pretty low. However, if they do support you, then your road of success will straighten out and the speed limit will increase. Think about it this way: If you do not have a significant other, then your road of success will be a "normal" one with some twists, turns, pot-holes, and an average speed limit (say 60 mph). You can do live the type of life you want to live and become a successful person, no doubt about it. If you have a significant other though, then that road will change either for the better or for the worse,....it cannot stay the same. If the relationship is a good one, then they will be there to challenge you and push on the gas when you get too comfortable and are going too slow, stand behind you, support you, and help you watch out for pot holes and road blocks when you are working towards your goals, be the shock absorber that helps keep your ride somewhat smooth when you are traveling over the bumps, be there to hand you the tools you need when there is a little maintenance necessary, and be there to celebrate with you every time you reach one of your goals. But if the relationship isn't a good one, then they will distract you so that you hit more pot holes and take wrong turns, criticize your driving style and navigational skills, and make the ride uncomfortable by turning the radio to a station your don't like and turning the temperature on too hot or too cold.


If you are in a relationship, you'll know exactly what I mean. If you aren't, then take my word for it and I'm sure you'll find out soon enough. So take care of your relationships and your travel down the road of success will be faster and smoother. If you need to take a pit stop to work on your relationship a little bit before continuing...do so...it will be well worth it.

Patience

I know it's been a while since my last post,...but that's because I was helping you to work on what this post is about - patience. =)

Really though, patience is a very important trait to possess as you travel down the Road of Success. No matter how much you want to achieve a goal, or "become successful," in order to do it right, it will take time. How much time depends on many factors, but most important things take more than just a few days or even weeks to accomplish. There is a natural sequence and timing for almost everything. I'm using the word natural here as in "nature" as in successful people have a certain nature that you can predict and usually be right. For instance it's in the nature of a successful person to be honest, to have integrity, to be ambitious, to get along well with people and/or be very intelligent, etc. You must align yourself with the nature of success, and one of it's aspects is to have patience. Picture it this way:

You are in your car driving down the Road of Success and you know that your next destination that you want to get to is Goal A Station. "Goal A Station" signifies a particular goal you are working toward (creative huh?). You know that Goal A Station is 247 miles away and that the best way to get there is to keep driving on the Road of Success. The miles represent the many different steps you need to take in order to achieve the goal you are working toward. But no matter how badly you want to get to Goal A Station (achieve the goal), you still have to travel all 247 miles until you can get there! You can't take a short-cut because there aren't any or there may be some that look like they are but those roads are littered with potholes, broken glass and nails, and dead ends that you can't see until you get close. And your car can only go so fast, there's a limit on the speedometer after all and if you try to go too fast you'll burn up your engine (or "burn-out" as they say). So no matter what, even if you go as fast as you can without risking burning up your engine, it's still going to take you a certain amount of time to travel all 247 miles before you'll get there.

Since I mentioned nature a little while ago, let me give you another example. Picture a farmer who is really ambitious. He wants to grow and sell as much corn as he can so he can make a lot of money and feed thousands of people. So he plants seeds in the Spring in his whole field and keeps working as much as he can to get it done as soon as possible, only stopping to sleep for a few hours each night and eat a couple of meals per day. When he finally gets his whole field seeded, most of the other farmers are only half-way done with their fields. But then what? There is a natural sequence and time-frame for growing and harvesting crops, and no matter how much ambition the farmer has, or how intelligent, or nice, or popular he is...the seeds will take time to sprout, grow, and fruit so the corn can be harvested and there's not much the farmer can do to speed up that process. If he tries to give it the plants water faster than he should, they will die. If he keeps putting more and more fertilizer on the field, they will die. If he plants the seeds earlier in hopes that they will grow and produce corn earlier, they probably won't even grow in the first place because the ground will still be too cold and will kill the seeds. But if he plants the seeds at the right time, gives them the right amount of water and fertilizer, and is patient, he will grow healthy productive plants and have plenty of corn to sell. He must be patient and wait for the natural cycle to be complete in order to achieve his goal.

So too must we continue to do all of the things we know we should to in order to be successful and achieve our goals, while being patient at the same time. We can be super ambitious, intelligent, happy, optimistic, determined, and persistent,...and maybe we'll be able to achieve our goals a little faster that way. But we still have to be patient and realize that some things, especially important things, just take time.

Are you trying to rush success? Stop it! Keep that ambition, optimism, and determination....but be patient. You will succeed, but it may take some time. Be patient.

Don't Worry, Be Happy

I bet you didn't know that Bobby McFerrin was a success coach did you? Well he was! Way back in 1988 when he sang the song "Don't Worry, Be Happy" he wasn't just singing a catch acappella song, he was giving advice on how to be live a successful life.

Not that I've lived an extremely long time yet (I'm only 25 after all), but in my lifetime I've come to learn through my own experience as well as by watching others that worrying about something, anything, never does anything to help the situation. But so many people worry about things all the time anyway. Are you one of them? It's okay, I used to too! But no more, I've stepped into the light and realized that if I can't change something or I don't know what's going to happen and there's no way I'll know until it happens, then there's no point in worrying about it either. Seriously, what's the point of worrying about something you can't do anything about? All that you accomplish by worrying is to make yourself upset, scared, apprehensive, (fill in whatever other crappy feeling you want here), and if you talk to others about things you worry about then you are influencing them to feel negative emotions as well! But did any of that worrying help the situation? Nope. So all you did by worrying is make yourself feel bad and probably influence someone else to feel bad also. So if I'm doing my math right, that means you just hurt yourself and someone else and didn't get anything good out of it and neither did anyone else AND the situation didn't change even one bit. So you aren't just back to where you started from, you're worse off than when you started! Why on Earth would anyone want to do that?!?!? It makes absolutely no sense...

However, it's not enough simply to understand this principle at an intellectual level - you have to internalize it and actually make your part of your standard operating procedure for all situations you encounter in your life that you can't do anything about. I'm sorry that I can't tell you how to do that, you just have to do it. The way I started doing it is by praying the prayer "God please grant me the courage to change the things I can and should change, the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference. Amen." It's worked for me, it'll probably work for you too. Once you do finally get this down, you will not believe how much better you feel about your life! There are so many things that you have no control over, but when you realize that worrying or getting upset about those things will only hurt you and won't help the situation so you just let it go (and "give it to God" as I like to put it, just let Him handle it His way and in His time), you will have such an amazing feeling of peace and contentment... You'll wonder why it took you so long to come to your senses. I hope you get there soon...the more people that realize this, the better place this world will be...

Knowledge is Not Power

There is an old saying that "knowledge is power." Everyone has heard it before I'm sure, and probably believe that it's true. I did too for a while...but I've come to realize that this saying is incomplete. Knowledge is not power, the use of knowledge is power. It's a small distinction, but a very important one. Say the smartest person in the world (we'll call him Bill) was able to instantly memorize every bit of information that is put in front of him through books, lectures, videos, or any other form of communication. But this person always kept to himself, and never actually did anything with all of his knowledge. He never wrote any books, invented anything, drew anything, or even talked to anyone else. Do you think that person has power? I don't think so.

So let's look at a different scenario. What if a different person (we'll call him Bob) who was always thought to be a slow learner, and in fact it took him until he was 10 years old just to learn how to talk, dropped out of school in the 5th grade at the age of 16, and started working at a grocery store stocking groceries. He worked there stocking groceries for the next 10 years, in the same store doing the same job over and over. During this time, he also became good friends with the store manager and others employees as well. One day, he mentions to his department manager that he noticed that customers would often go to the canned food aisle after they picked up bags of tortilla chips even though it was at the other end of the store. He suggested that they move the salsa to the snack aisle, and the manager made it happen. Over the next week, their salsa sales doubled. The manager asked Bob if he had any other ideas, and Bob told gave him a few more suggestions. Almost every suggestion Bob gave the manager ended up increasing sales or customer satisfaction. So the manager made Bob the manager of the grocery department. Bob was a simple man who still learned slowly, but by using the knowledge he did have, he was able to help the company increase sales and customer satisfaction.

Which of these men have more power? I would suggest that it is Bob. Even though he's not nearly as smart and doesn't have nearly the amount of knowledge that Bill does, he still has more power than Bill does because he actually uses the knowledge that he does have. Wouldn't you agree?

So here's another question for you. Do you use the knowledge you have to increase your power, or do you not do anything with it? What do you think you should do? I know this is a stupid question at this point, but I am trying to get you to really think about it rather than just reading these words and dismissing it as obvious without thinking about what you do in your own life. I am betting that you have a lot of knowledge that you don't do anything with, or that you rarely use. Why? Everyone has a lot of knowledge that they can use in their everyday lives. Whether it was gained through education or experience doesn't matter. The amount of knowledge you have doesn't even matter. What matters is what you do with the knowledge you do have. Find ways to use the knowledge you possess in your everyday life. That is one of the best ways you can increase your influence and power. Start today!!!

Learn How To Learn Quickly and Well

This will be one of the most important posts I write in this blog because I think this subject is one of the most important and beneficial things you can do in order to lead a life of success. The message is simple (though not short). The application of the message is simple (though not necessarily always easy to apply). The potential impact this message could have on your life is enormous. So please read this with an open mind, and even more importantly, use it. You may even want to print it so that you can use it during times when you are not at your computer, and it will be beneficial to read this multiple times.

Learning how to learn quickly and well will serve you for the rest of your life. In these modern times, the information age, the ability to learn quickly and well is essential. There is so much new information available every day, technology is advancing at an incredible pace, and industries are being transformed into completely new ones each year. If you are not continually learning, then you are not growing. In fact, even if you are continually learning but doing it slowly, then you are only barely keeping up at best. You must continually learn quickly in order to get ahead and stay ahead. You must learn well in order to be able to stand out in the crowd and become a successful person. So how can you learn how to learn quickly and well? All you have to do is read, understand, memorize, and use the steps below:

1. Get into a relaxed, ready to learn state of mind. You can do this by closing your eyes and taking a few deep breaths and consciously letting go of any tension you feel in your body (especially in your face, neck, and shoulders). Picture yourself taking in the new information in a relaxed mood, understanding it easily, and finding it easy to remember. Then picture yourself using the information later on with very little effort. Tell yourself that you will understand this new information, and that you will remember this new information, and make sure you really believe it before you begin.


2. Take in the new information in a multi-sensory way. Everyone learns best when they use as many of their senses as possible to take in the new information. Seeing it, hearing it, AND doing it/using it will help you understand it much more easily and quickly, as well as to remember it more easily and quickly. So take in the information by reading it or watching it, listening to it or reading it aloud, and writing it working through example problems or doing/using it somehow.


3. Explore the new information with your seven intelligences. The seven intelligences that every person has are visual, audio/linguistic, bodily/physical, logical/mathematical, interpersonal, intrapersonal, and musical/artistic. Try to explore the new information in as many ways as you can by using these seven intelligences because everyone learns best when they learn a certain type of information using a certain combination of their multiple intelligences. Figure out what is the best way for you to learn each new type of information, and if you don't know just use as many as possible so you will cover them all! For instance if you are trying to learn a new language then you could explore the new words by reading them and linking the words to a picture that represented that word (visual); reading them aloud and listening to native speakers pronouncing them (audio/linguistic); do what the words mean (walk around as you repeat the word "caminar," or pick up and/or eat an apple while you say "manzana" if you are learning Spanish for example) which would be exploring the information with your bodily/physical intelligence; categorize the new information (verbs, nouns, adjectives, etc.) or put it into an order that makes the most sense to you (logical/mathematical); talk about the new information with some other people (maybe ones who speak that language already) and see what they think about it or how they say it compared to what you think about it (interpersonal); think to yourself if any of the words you are learning sound like a similar English word or how they relate to other Spanish words you know already (interpersonal); and finally you could listen to classical music (or any other music you like, prefferably without words so you aren't distracted by them), draw or paint a picture of what the words you are learning represent, or make up a poem, song, or rap with the new words.


4. Memorize the key elements of new information. Imagine that you will need to give a report on it or teach it to someone else. Rewrite the information from memory after having learned it. Create a learning map/memory map of the new information which is one of the most effective ways to memorize new information (google it if you have never heard of a learning map or memory map). Also take regular breaks every 20-30 minutes because that's the average amount of time a person can actually focus on something and because studies have shown that people remember what they remember better what they learn at the beginning and at the end of a learning session than what was in the middle,...so the more beginnings and endings you have, the more information you are likely to remember. Review the new information after an hour, a day, a week, a month, after six months, and after a year. If you do this, you are 4 times more likely to retain the information in your long-term memory so that you can use it for the rest of your life.


5. Show that you know the new information, demonstrate that you know it. Test yourself with flash cards, by creating new learning/memory maps strictly from your memory and compare them to the one you made while learning the information, practice the new information by role playing or doing whatever it is you just learned, etc.


6. Reflect on what you did and how you learned the new information. Think about how well you learned it, how easy it was, and what you could have done differently or better in order to learn it more quickly and/or more easily. Keep this in mind when you go to learn similar information in the future so you will learn it more quickly and easily.

If you follow these steps when you go to learn any new information, you will learn it more quickly and easily than before. You will remember it better and longer and will be able to use it more effectively. By the way, this isn't an exhaustive list of how to do each step. Use your imagination and intuition and do what works best for you in order to apply each step in the ways that work best for you! Try applying these steps to something simple today and you will see how well they work. The more you use this system, the easier it will get, the more quickly and effectively you will learn new information, and the longer and better you will remember it.

Don't Quit!

One of the most important traits for a person who wants to be successful to have is persistence. Every book I've read, audio program I've listened to, and every seminar I've been to about success and how to achieve it talked about the importance of persisence and determination over and over again. Almost nothing is more important or a greater factor in determining whether or not you will succeed at any given task or goal you set out to achieve.

There are so many stories about how people have had a dream or goal that they really believed in, faced incredible opposition along the way but pressed on anyway, got knocked down over and over but kept getting back up, and had road blocks put in their way but they found a way to get around them or break through them until they finally achieved their goal...and every time someone asked them whether it was worth it or not, or if they would do it again if they knew how hard it would be from the start, they always said that they would still have decided to do it.

Nothing in the world can take the place of Persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan 'Press On' has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race.

Calvin Coolidge (1872 - 1933)

How many times have you been told that you shouldn't quit. Now how often have you actually thought about what that means or why you shouldn't quit. I'll tell you why... it's simple. If you quit, then it's impossible for you to achieve your goal! That's it. As long as you are still trying, you still have a chance, however small that chance may be. But when you quit, you have absolutely no chance anymore. For instance, if your goal is to sell a bunch of a certain product so that you make $100,000 in one year, and you have a hard time selling any of them for the first couple of weeks, would you quit? What if you really believed in the product, and that you actually could accomplish your goal if you just found the right market (people) to sell them to? If you kept trying and only accomplished half of what you set out to achieve, you still would have made $50,000!!! But if you had quit, how much would you have made? That's right, NOTHING! Which one would be better? Plus if you didn't quit, then you would have also learned how to be a better salesman which will help you accomplish even more during the rest of your life. If you had quit, you wouldn't have learned anything on top of the fact that you didn't make any money!

I know it's hard sometimes. I know that you may feel like crap, or that it's not worth it, or that you can't actually accomoplish your goal because it's too hard or you're not smart enough or good enough at something. Believe me, I've been there more than once. But if you persist, you will eventually accomplish anything you set out to achieve...I was able to, and I will continue to. If you really believe in what you are trying to accomplish, then there is always a way. All that it takes is time in order for you to find the right way, and the appropriate amount of effort to make it happen once you do. Don't quit! Be persistent and keep your sense of determination. Often times it's right when the going gets toughest that people quit when if they would have just stuck it out for a little bit longer, they would have acoomplished their goal.

Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up. 

-Thomas Edison

Mistakes are Good!!!

Mistake. That word might as well be a swear word. There are so many people that are afraid of making mistakes, that the word even conjures up feelings of anxiousness, hesitancy, and stress. But why? Good question! Let me tell you the answer. It's because these people look at mistakes as failures, and no one ever wants to fail - at anything.

Is this how you feel about mistakes? I used to. Then I learned something about what mistakes really are than changed the way I look at them and has increased my self-confidence by at least fifty percent. I'm sure you've heard it before, but do you really believe it? What is it you say? It's this:

Mistakes are not failures, they are learning opportunities.

That's right, a mistake is nothing more than an opportunity to learn something. What you can learn is that whatever you did that didn't bring about the results you wanted was not the way it should be done in the future unless you are aiming for the results you obtained. It's that simple. Thomas Edison was one of the most successful inventors who ever lived, and I bet he probably made more mistakes than most people who have ever lived as well! It's almost common knowledge now that he went through over 1,000 attempts at making a light bulb before he finally figured it out. Who knows how many mistakes he made while trying to make everything else he invented work!

Mistakes are good in fact! The more mistakes you make, the more you learn about why something didn't work the way you thuoght it would, and the better you'll perform in the future, and the better decisions you'll make in the future because of everything you learn from all of the mistakes you made in the past. This is not to say that you should go out and purposefully make mistakes. You don't learn anything from that, because if you make a mistake on purpose, you already know it's not going to work. That's just being stupid. Don't do that. Instead, stop being afraid of doing something because you think you might make a mistake. You probably will, and that's okay! You will learn from it and be better off in the future because of it!

I have a theory that many of the most successful people in the world, are people who have made many, many, many more mistakes than everyone else as well. So go out and do what you want to do, whether or not you think you'll make mistakes. When you do make a mistake, learn from it and move on. When you stop making mistakes, step out of your comfort zone again so you can keep growing and learning and make some more mistakes. I know it probably sounds crazy, but the more mistakes you make, the more successful you'll be.

A Little Bit Extra

What is the difference between a 4.0 GPA and a 3.9 GPA? Just a little bit. What's the difference between a perfect score of 300 in bowling and a less than perfect 299? Just 1 pin to remaining standing after the entire rest of the game full of perfect shots. Okay, last question... What's the difference between an extraordinary person and an ordinary person? That's right, just the little "extra."

There are so many people out there who for one reason or another just do the minimum that they need to do in order to get by in their job, their marriage or relationship, their friendships, their church, and any other aspect of a person's life you can think of. There are many reasons people put forth to try to justify this, but none of them are good enough as far as I'm concerned. This is because there are tons of people who have gone through horrible things and turned their lives around to become amazingly successful and good people. If they can do it, so can everyone else - especially if they haven't had anything terrible happen in their lives.

So now that we've gotten that out of the way, why are there so many people who want to be happy and successful but aren't? I think it's because of one of two reasons; either they haven't realized that all they need to do is a little bit more, a little bit extra than others do, or they haven't given themselves enough time to reap the rewards of their hard work. This second reason has to do with persistence, which I will talk about in a future blog. But the first reason is the more predominant one, and the easiest one to change. All you have to do in order to be successful is just a little bit more than everyone else does...just a little bit extra. That is all it takes to get better results than normal people do, and stand out in the crowd. (The being happy part takes a little more work and will be addressed in a different post as well.)

So what do you do with the different areas of your life? Do you do the minimum necessary to get by like so many others do? Do you do more than that, but still about the same amount as everyone else? Or do you do the same amount as everyone else, and then a little bit extra? If you answered yes to any of the questions above other than the last one, then I challenge you to change your ways. Do the little extra from now on. Your effectiveness will be multiplied, and you will have given yourself a boost to help you travel down the road of success even faster!

The Law of Attraction

Recently there has been a lot of talk about the law of attraction (the law that like attracts like) from self-improvement gurus, and movies like the Secret. Buy what you may not know is that this was spoken about a long time ago in a little book I called the Bible. Both in positive and negative ways.

• Matthew 7:7 - Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you.


• Job 22:28 - Thou shalt decree a thing, and it shall be established unto thee; and the light shall shine upon thy ways.


• Job 3:25 - Because a dreadful thing I have dreaded, it has come upon me. And what I have been scared of comes to me.


• Psalm 34:4 - I sought the Lord, and He heard me, and delivered me from all my fears.


• Proverbs 23:7 - For as a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.

Since this "secret" has been around for so long, it's in the bible, and so many people believe it to be true and have seen it working in their lives (including myself), I believe it is true. Maybe it can't be proven, but you can observe it happening in your own life and in the lives of others around you as well. The law of attraction basically states that whatever you focus on, you attract into your life. This is because thoughts are not just metaphysical things, meaning that they have no real substance or action that is measurable associated with them. In fact they do! Any and every thought you have produces a set of subsequent electrical signals being fired in your brain, as well as a release of specific chemicals in your brain and your body. Just because we haven't determined a good way to measure them (thoughts) yet, doesn't mean that they can't be measured. If you put someone in an MRI machine and show them pictures of different things or ask them to think about different things, you can see the different parts of their brain being triggered depending on the thought and even more so the feelings associated with those thoughts. So thoughts are actually things, not just immaterial phenomena.

Since thoughts are actually things and produce physical reactions, it makes sense that they also influence the physical world in a very real way. Everything in the universe that we know of is made of the same stuff (energy in one form or another), and anything that happens causes something else to happen, which causes something else to happen, and so on. This is because everything is connected to everything else because it is all made of the same thing. So when you think of something, it causes something to happen that attracts that thing that you were thinking about, into your life. Why this happens or how it happens I cannot say exactly because I don't know for sure. But as I said, I think it has something to do with everything being made of energy, and everything being connected in such a way that the law of attraction naturally happens through some medium I do not and maybe can not comprehend so I just chalk it up to being God's will.

So if the law of attraction is real, and you need to pay attention to what you focus on, then you need to also specifically pay attention to what you think about on a regular basis. If I tell you NOT to think of a pink elephant, can you do it? Of course not, ...even though I told you not to, you just thought about a pink elephant didn't you? You are probably even picturing one in your mind's eye right now. And the longer I write about pink elephants, the more likely you are to keep thinking about them because you are reading this, which means you are thinking about what you are reading, which means you are focusing on what I am writing. So you need to pay attention to what you think about and therefore what you focus on.

You have already experienced the law of attraction in your life many, many times. Have you ever had a bad morning when you just couldn't get whatever the negative thing that happened in the morning out of your mind (you focused on it), and then things just kept getting worse and worse all day long? Or maybe the opposite happened, you had a great morning, focused on that and things kept getting better and better all day! Or maybe you were playing a sport and you did something really great and you kept thinking about how good that felt, and you kept doing better and better at that sport that day or even that whole week or month! Or you may have had to deal with a crappy customer at work and you focused on that for some reason, and you seemed to keep getting crappy customers for the rest of that day. Or the same thing could have happened but with good customers. Maybe you saw something you really wanted and didn't tell anyone about, but someone got it for you for your birthday or Christmas anyway. These are just a few of countless examples.

Why don't you try something if you don't believe that the law of attraction is real, or even if you do just to play with it a little bit...try this: Think of something simple like a cup of coffee for instance, that you want to attract into your life soon. Close your eyes and picture it, see it, smell it, touch the coffee cup and pick it up, feel the texture of the cup and warmth of it. Experience the feelings of satisfaction as you put the cup to your mouth and take a sip. Feel the warm coffee traveling down your throat as you swallow that sip of coffee. Hold on to this sensation and these feelings for a little while, and then open your eyes. Do this a few times today and I bet you will get a cup of coffee soon. Or try it by focusing on something else instead if you don't like coffee. Maybe think of an old friend who you haven't talked to in a while but would like to catch up with. Do the same kind of thing, close your eyes and picture calling them on the phone or meeting up with them in person. Picture their face and the sound of their voice. Think about some of the good times you shared in the past. Imagine what you would talk about and where they might be in their life right now. Do this a few time a day too and I bet you will either meet them soon in an unexpected place, they will call or email you, or you can call them and I bet they will tell you that they've been thinking about you recently as well!

The law of attraction is real, and you can use it to your advantage once you understand how it works. All you have to do is focus on what you want and feel the feelings of happiness, gratitude, contentment, excitement, etc. that you would have if you already had it...and you will eventually get it. But if you don't consciously pay attention to what you focus on, the law of attraction can work against you too. If you keep focusing on how much debt you have and that you never have enough money, you'll keep getting more debt and probably have even less money! If you focus on how crappy a customer was, you will probably keep getting crappy customers.

So pay attention to what you focus on, and consciously decide that you are going to focus on good, positive things that will help you on your journey down the road of success. You will notice a difference, and the people around you will too!

Your Past Does Not Equal Your Future

Being the first day of the new year, I think it would be fitting to write a post about the future. So here goes...

Everyone has made mistakes in their lives. Whether they be big or small, there are things in everyone's life that if they had the chance to do over again, they would probably do something different. It may be something as small as turning the light off in their living room before they left the house to go to work, or as large as wishing they would have said "I love you" one last time to someone who they never got to see again. And for many people, there are common situations that they face over and over in which they continue to make less than optimal decisions. For most people, this is a situation where something needs to be done but it doesn't have to be done right away. So either they do it anyway, or they procrastinate even though they know they shouldn't. Could this be you?

If you procrastinate often or commonly make poor decisions in other situations, it doesn't mean that you can't be successful. It just means that you won't be as successful, as quickly. Sorry, but it's true. However, obviously you can change. It doesn't matter how many times you've done something that you knew wasn't the best thing to do in the past, or how many mistakes you've made in the past. Why? Because the past does not equal the future. Maybe you faced some situations last year that you'll probably face again this year where you didn't make great decisions, but that doesn't mean you have to do the same things this year. Or maybe it wasn't last year, maybe it was last month, maybe last week, maybe yesterday, maybe even just a few minutes ago....it doesn't matter!

You are not the same person you were in the past. Think about it, you have something around 10 trillion cells in your body, millions of which are being dying and being replaced by new ones every minute. You experience new situations every day, which cause you to make decisions, which effect what happens afterwards. You meet new people constantly and think about new things all of the time! So obviously, you are constantly changing and will never be the same as you were last year, last month, yesterday, or even a minute ago. Since you are not the same person, you aren't locked into having to make the same decisions you made in the past. And if you didn't like the result of a decision you've made in the past, then you obviously shouldn't make that decision next time. Albert Einstein said that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.

The past doesn't equal the future. You are not who you were in the past. You have the ability to make new and better decisions in each and every situation in you encounter in the future, and I challenge you to do so concerning situations in which you didn't like the outcome resulting from the decision you made. If you've been keeping up with this blog and applied any of my suggestions in your own life in the past, then you've already begun to change yourself for the better. So rather than challenging you to start changing your life for the better by making new year's resolutions and all that....I would rather just offer you encouragement on your continuing journey down the road of success.